I have been walking a lot more

I've been walking a lot more and I'm almost at my goal weight but not my goal size. My hips, thighs, and butt is bigger. I can only think of one cause and that's my abortion pregnancy causing the changes.

I haven't seen my ex around and I'm glad for that. I'm moving on even though it hurts.

I seen my crush from afar he was on his bike. He waved but I couldn't tell who it was. I can't see that far. I am still carrying his candy in my purse. I want to give it to him in person but his neighborhood scares me. I might have to just get brave and do it.

I found out today my ex asked my coworker about me months ago. This makes sense as to why he has been spying. He's doing it as away to get me to go back to him. I'm not doing it. I never realized how much I changed until I got away from him. He was a tyrant.

On a mature note I seen two people I hate in a public place and ignored them.

I keep seeing my crush

I keep seeing my crush after talking to him on his way to classes Saturday. I gave him two pieces of candy root beer barrels to be exact. I did go out Sunday and bought him some hot lips candy. I'm carrying the bag around with me so I can give it to him.

I seen my crush on Sunday as I was going for a walk and again this morning. I was too far away for him to see me. I'm getting closer to giving him the candy. I think he will like the hint I'm leaving for him.

I haven't seen my ex and I'm not looking for him anymore. I'm moving on and I'm going to work on my wardrobe. I want to look good for my crush.

I seen an unsavory female from my past at the dollar general. I'm glad again I did my shopping with out her noticing me. It's like we were never friends she was friends with my ex. She thinks she can buddy up to me. My crush is friends with her and my ex still I'm not friends with her we have mutual friends. There's a difference.

I heard back from dollar general I filled out the rest of the questions they needed. When I went there Sunday they were swamped it was like a mad house.

I'm feeling pms like symptoms I'm to start tomorrow. I keep having a dream about an unknown toddler boy wearing overalls and white t shirt. He's all alone with me. He's slapping a ball like he's trying to dribble it but the ball isn't rubber it's got soft cloth cover and packing. He slaps it three times the fourth time he falls down sitting playing with it. He's slobbering and I hold out my arms and try to pick him up. This is when my alarm clock went off. Next night I do as before but I ask him what his name is he just smiled won't talk to me.

This week was interesting

This week was interesting. I didn't see my ex going by my work place. I'm glad for that.

I'm getting back into my hair care routine. I'm using my Pantene serum and leave in conditioner. I did use up another hair growth oil gro works it's in a green bottle and I hated it made my hair greasy.

Sunday I did see my ex outside a restaurant as I was walking to the post office. He asked me what the hell I was doing. I looked inside the window thinking they were closed but they weren't. I told him I was going to the post office I was on the way.

I did use my pocket change to get some leggings pants to wear with my new shirts. I also went to interserve the free clothes store and got a pair of black silk pants. I got new tennis shoes. I bought another bracelet, three toe rings with ankle bracelets, and my cover girl powder. I'm still getting rid of my unwanted clothes.

This weekend

This weekend my crush got out of jail Monday and he came by to see me Friday night 8:40pm to be exact. I'm going to his house Saturday morning around 9am. I'm wearing my bright pink thong and bra set. My outerwear is a cream color knit spaghetti strap top and denium shorts. I wore no makeup and Mary Kay thinking of you perfume. He started out giving me the best oral sex ever then we 69 after that we had doggy style sex. The rest of the two hours I gave him a blow job.

I've been working on bling jewelry for my big date with my crush . When it cools down is like to go to the Pizza Royal  then to the Carnegie Library and walk around hold hands. My crush might like it. I'm not embarrassed to be seen in public with my man.

My not so savory coworker worked Friday and Saturday night. I'm hoping it's just fill in. I so do not want her around.

I got my ex license plate number and as always I still see him when I'm out and about. I'm going to ignore him and on a good note Tuesday I got to talk to a friend of mine that I met on tango. I'm going to take his advice be thankful I'm not with him anymore.

The best is on the way

I paid all my bills for the month. I'm so proud of me. I even went online window shopping and found a cute circular barbell for my outer labia. I'm kind of sad it was discontinued.

My new kitten is growing and playing a lot. I'm so excited for that.

My crush has called me all weekend. He's supposed to be getting out this Monday. I hope he does. He says he wants to see me. I'm excited about that.

I've seen my ex old man three different days but four times all weekend long. The first time was when I was at work and near my work place. On my way to the store and out for a walk.

Karma, eyebrow trimmer, and my crush

Remember when I mentioned about the deal at work. We all thought the other party was at the other house working. We were wrong she told the person in charge she couldn't get there and cheated herself out of a job. It's funny karma bit her back.

My crush is in jail. I've been on the phone calling people for him. I hope his preacher sponsors him if not he goes back to prison for eleven years. I love him too much to see that happen. I did write him and I'm working on another note. No matter what I'll wait on him.


My eyebrow trimer went kaput I took it apart to clean it now it won't cut the hair. I used my eyebrow razor. I hate the razor but I don't have anything else.


Macramé I don't have to do it I tried to make time and that was a joke. I still haven't started it yet.

One year anniversary, new hobby, new kitten, and work headaches

The 28th was my one year anniversary of when my crush admitted his crush on me. All this week I sent him a lingerie picture. I was hoping I could get to have the day together.

Saturday night around 5pm I got a call from the jail and it was my crush. I couldn't accept the call I didn't have any money on my phone for it.

Let's see Monday at work all hell breaks loose a lesbian coworker was making a big stink over being a called a troll. She's not allowed near me and she's working at the other home. My wright up was issued on my anniversary. I was so blinded by hate I didn't see it until it was almost too late.

I tried the nair with baby oil and I liked it the smell isn't quite as bad as the aloe and lanolin one. I got just as good as results.

I went for my walk to the post office to check my po box. On my way home I found a gray kitten scared and in need of a home so I took her home.

I'm also learning macrame so far I haven't made any thing yet. I think the hobby will be a good one. I've been working on my bling. I also got flip flops and my camo capri pants I wanted. I got some cute what I thought was anklets I found out were necklaces. I mentioned in a prior blog entry. I got body jewelry for my piercings.